I have relocated to a new blog, but I will be keeping tabs and leaving comments here and there :-)

xox

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, NAILS! HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, NAILS! HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, NAILS!

So, what's happening, boys and girls? It's been a while since I've blogged in this thing, even though it hasn't been too long ago. The past few weeks, or so it has felt like, have been pretty busy and I am trying to force myself to do some productive studying, but that has failed. I'm taking up philosophy and history of science units next semester so I can go back to my previous arts schedule, that is: 2-3 days a week. Life was pretty sweet back then. I have about five tests and exams this coming week starting tomorrow. What right department would hold exams on a Saturday? A Saturday! Anyway, I have work tonight as well, but thankfully, we'll all finish at 8.30 so I can get a chance to do some last minute cramming. There really isn't much to cram for because a formula sheet will be given, and the exam starts at midday anyway, so I get a chance to sleep in. I met up with Richey to go to the Verge Arts Festival Zine Fair and Nights Market last night. T'was fun. Browsed around the stalls, stopped by at Annie, Ivanka and Jasmina's stall and took a porn star badge. Pretty cool. Also got one of Ly's calico drawn bags. Walked around some more, ate gozleme, laughed at Richey's awkwardness at the visual arts table. Sigh. Mark met up with us later on and we just kinda browsed around and wandered off to Maccas and sat there for a while. I didn't even realise it was that late and I ended up catching the nightrider home. The NIGHTRIDER! I met a guy on the bus called David. David from Liverpool. What else? Man, I really need to go and study now. This thing doesn't solve itself. If only.

I can see why physics is the subject with the highest fail rate. The lecturer is incomprehendable. I can't believe I've been sitting here for the past forty-seven minutes. I can't understand her, oh god I can't understand. It isn't just the accent either, it's everything. This theatre is too big. Everything she's saying is rebounding off the walls. I'm sitting in the back row and everyone is just talking amongst themselves.

Hey, onto some happier news, I'm getting published in USYD's ARNA journal. This is exciting. Woo! The launch is in October. I had submitted my work last semester and to be honest, never thought they'd call back. Maybe they needed fillers or something. Oh well. But still, the idea of getting published- very exciting!!

The Experimetrix this morning started out with me playing GTA on Xbox and by the end of some social interactive bit, I left without completingp and crying like no tomorrow. It's horrible what Psychology honours do to participants. It isn't their fault, of course because it's part of their work. Still, I couldn't help feel infuriated when I had left the building. I didn't expect myself to be so effected. Talk about dumb. Fucking crap.

I'm stuck here for the whole day. Sigh. My eyes are still red and glassy looking.

Sitting here waiting another half an hour before the psych tute commences. I had arrived in time for the physics lecture, but knew I would have to walk all the way up the campus for class and I couldn't be bothered considering the already crappy state of the weather. Am typing this up on the phone and it's a little dificult because the keypad is on the screen and I keep mispelling words. I also expect an electronic voice to say to me, "the fingers you have used to dial, are too fat." Whatever.

So I finally caught up with Leese last night, who I haven't seen in a good month or two. We're heading overseas in four months. It's taking so damn long. Yum. The lady sitting next to me has this giant pink donut and it's lying on the table. What are the chances of me getting out of this foyer sucessfully if I had grabbed the donut and made a beeline towards some enclosed space?

Yum. I had a sushi box and wasabi peas for lunch. I'm feeling very warm.

I am so fucking T-O'd. I was only ten minutes late and the fucking experimenter left before I even showed up! Anyway, stuff it. I am starting to intensely dislike Psych. I don't even know how it can claim to be a science subject. It's more like arts. Maybe I should pack up my bags and go back to arts. A break from Uni sounds nice. Maybe I can do a short course in something practical or something. So many maybes at the moment. This isn't a dilemma, that would just be exagerrating. Although, it would be much better if I knew what I wanted to fucking do as a career, and I refuse to accept the idea that what I'm studying will determine my career for the rest of my life. Actually, to sound more logical, I really shouldn't be thinking that far of ahead. Plans change (Exhibit A), and it would be much better to do whatever would make me happy, which sadly at the moment, has no hint of academic tendencies.

Please excuse the terrible way this post has been expressed. I am aware of my declining repetoire.

What I don't understand at the moment is why the flipping air conditioner is switched to full blast and filling the computer lab with chills. Unless the guy sitting three seats down is breathing rather coldly and heavily. I am trying to amuse myself with the wonders of the Internet, and even Wi Fi is making that less interesting every day. The train rides yesterday and this morning were absolutely horrendo and I had to stand and read, squished amongst possibly fifty like-commuters who were just as unfortunate enough to stand in that "neutral" level, or so I call it. The one that goes neither upstairs or downstairs. My lips are dry and I've lost my Chapstick. Have resorted to Petroleum jelly, which after several tries, actually taste like petroleum. It's that strong engine-y smell that you can find in cheap lipgloss, whose colours don't even turn out properly. Don't even turn out at all, actually.

My back hurts from the constant air emitted from the air conditioner. I actually can't even find it, but it must be coming from somewhere because all the windows are closed. I am turning old, already having body aches from things like pressurised air.

I forgot to bring my muesli bars again. I knew this would happen. Now they're sitting in my cupboard at home, being uneatened and possibly suffering, but kept fresh at the same time. it's so cold in here. Somebody please, please turn off the air con. I reckon it's a tactic to try to get careless Internet users out of the room so that people can actually come in here and do their math. The thing is, there's hardly anybody here and the Maple Officer is walking around like a parking ranger. I don't think she particularly minds if... HEY! That's the same girl I see in the Pavillion foodcourt every Tuesday before my lab. She looks like an Arts student. I thought she was one. Maybe she's one of them Arts/Science people. A degree I have long contemplated on, and still am, about changing to. Don't know why I didn't picked that up from the first go, or maybe because the idea of a double degree sounds a bit half arsed and I want to specialise in a particular field. Ooo, look at me, I'm Melina and I'm too special for a double degree. Maybe because I know I won't be able to hack the workload, but am in deep denial. Or something along those lines.

Am currently reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. It's such a great book. It was a trilogy and the fourth book has been released just recently. Bella reminds me of me with boys. It's almost a little confronting, and I've always wanted to say that a character in a book/TV show or movie reminded me of me. I hear that stuff from other people, but when I thought about how it applied to me, I could never find the right character. I seemed to have this time, so that's good. A character I can finally relate to without ending up killing a priest in court or moving across the Mexican border. Bella is 17, though- two years younger than I currently am, but I guess it's not too hard to imagine.

Okay, the air conditioner is working. I can't stay here any longer or else I'll get arthritis or rhumatism.

Am sitting in Joey's "Materials" lecture. Ah, the wonders of technology. Do you want to say something?

"Cycle fatigue. Interesting shit."

Uh oh. Has somebody got something due today which they have forgotten to do?

I did my first Psych Experimetrix yesterday. It involved me sitting in a room by myself listening to some melancholy, depressing music and being instructed to make myself feel as unpleasant as possible. It was difficult, as I spent most of the hour gazing outside the window and at Coogee Beach, or so I assumed it was. It was followed with me trying to imagine I had colon cancer and six months to live and other horrible scenarios, then filling out some response forms. They measured my mood from prior to experiment to post. Needless to say, I felt a deep plunge of disappointment with life and what life had to offer by the end of the session. I have a follow up session for next month. I'm not really looking forward to it. Why are they making us do this?? They even experiment with us in tutorials. I know it's part of the syllabus, but I can't help but feel more like a labrat than a Psych student. Or maybe it's part of the point to play as participants if you choose to do this subject, or in my case, major in it. Oh well, it has been an interesting start, indeed.

I have been very distracted of late, I just don't know what I should be doing most of the time. I have also become supremely lazy, willing to take the bus to the other side of the campus, even though I've never tried. So I finally went to withdraw from my old uni yesterday and it was pretty liberating and nice. There was no point rushing to uni now because I had already missed half the day, so I kinda wandered around for a bit being aimless.

Thought it was a good chance to catch up on the sleep I have missed out since Friday. It all started on Friday with a whole day at school, coming back to Nails' place for the afternoon/evening, watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics, coming back to my place at 2 in the morning to get ready for snows, getting half an hour of sleep, the coach ride that took about seven. Freaking. Hours. And the latter part repeated itself for the second day, except, I didn't really do much because my right hip was in pain after falling. Will probably never attempt to surf down snow with a toboggan board again.

Anyway, I don't really get nauseous in land transport, but I think I just get sick agter more than two hours on anything. It's terrible. How weak. Yes, weak.

Am tired. I'm only here because I have to be, if not, I wouldn't even bother.

I have had a headache and random dizzy spells since this morning. I think it was because I left the house without breakfast and I drank that honeydew milk tea before I drank any water and that just left me feeling all flavoured and yucky. Anyway, the cute hot math tutor isn't taking his class and has been replaced by an older man. Oh well. So, it's Foundation Day at uni today and I could smell sausage sizzle as I was walking, but poor me can't stomach anything after this morning's bubble tea. What in the world made me think that was a good idea? Nails is going to withdraw from UNSW, which leaves me here alone, but it's not like I see her often anyway. I understand how difficult it can be to adjust to a new place, especially if you're doing a new course and it's always tempting to just go back to the way it was. I think you're just always doubting the potential of the new place and yada yada. I have gotten over that stage by the time I enrolled and was eager to start because I didn't want to go back to neither UWS or USYD.

From what I have been through the past two weeks, science is very similar to arts, in that people tend to stick to themselves. It's understandable in arts because you don't need people to help you read. I thought it would be different with science, but people tend to have already formed their social cliques from semester 1. I am doing a first year's course, so that also means that a majority will be younger than me. However, in some of my tutorials, the age groups range and that's nice, particularly in maths. It's a nice spread and it's indiscriminative.

I feel sad that Nails is leaving because we both went through the enrolment process together and it was just the hype of starting at a new place and being able to move into a new area... it's just nice. It feels like leaving Kaye at USYD, haha.

So, so hungry. I have holes in my tights, far out.

My Physics tutor is sorta cute in a geeky way. I think he's a PhD/Honours student or something along those roles.

In the computer labs again and here's hoping that nobody sits on this row or else I won't be able to type and I'll get all paranoid. Joey tells me that the math computer labs don't give you access to anything other than Maple and other various, yucky numerical programs, but here I am, defying their filter restrictions. It turned out that the Physics lab I spent all of last night and this morning preparing for was not going to happen til next week. It is a very disappointing, as I had wanted to go to the Edge last night to see some comedy, but due to my hectic, albeit misleading school schedule, that wasn't to happen. How very inconvenient. They also finished an hour early, so I am here and will probably have to leave very soon if a class is to come in. There is a hot maths tutor, who's like a PhD student or something. Totally awesome.

Whatever, my bag is heavy, I didn't get enough sleep and I overate in the morning. That seldom tends to occur- overeating. Not that I notice, but winter makes you bottomlessly hungry sometimes. I still have some breakfast (uneaten) in my bag. And why is it that most words related to eating start with D? - Delicious, Delectable, Devour, Digest- except for Excretion, but that's a whole other topic. A whole other topic. Get it?!??

I love the fact that I can sit on the last computer on the last row. I think I practically live in this particular computer lab.

Begum, whom I met in yesterday's Bio lab is doing an Arts/Science degree. That generally takes about 4-5 years to finish, and she says after the first year, she's planning to transfer to either one, depending on how she goes. That's a smart idea. I should've done that instead. Maybe if I do, I can get exemptions and graduate earlier than I would if I had to stick with this course.

Man, these keyboards are kick arse. I could go on forever, and ever, and ever......

Poor Joey has 9-5 without breaks.

Peak hour trains are something I'm going to have to get used to, and not sitting down for the entire ride is something else I have to get used to. I mean, other people do it everyday, so I really shouldn't be complaining. Heck, they probably even get a kick out of standing for 50 minutes.

Anyway, my dad picked me up from the station today, and while I approached the car, he was waving something which confirmed my fear. He had bought me an iPhone. Anyway, I fumbled with the device in the car and it seems to be an okay sort of phone/computer/life. When it was first announced that it'd be released in Australia, I have to admit, I fell into the hype of wanting one, and very soon after, I had just completely forgotten about it. I felt that it wasn't something I exactly needed, nor did I want it that much after that. But here it is and I feel a pang of guilt for possessing it. It's on a plan, which means I have an entirely different number and I loved my Vodafone number, because, well, face it, Vodafone rocks. This is Optus. Optus was something I had when I got my first mobile phone. It wouldn't necessarily be my ideal choice of carrier.

So yes. Should I feel guilty? Or should I just accept this as a nice gift? I think my dad feels sorry for me because I've been bent over my books ever since uni started and I haven't really lifted it.

I am going to the snows this weekend. I had almost forgot. To be honest, I thought we were supposed to go last month, but when it didn't come up, I just assumed it had been canceled. Anyway, I'm going with my parents and Nails and we're going to Perisher Blue. I don't know why my parents had to book it at a time I'm in uni, but whatev. This should be fun. I haven't been to the snows before and do not plan on doing anything that will risk me being absent from school for the next week or so. It's boring, I know, but I'm going to have to sadly play it safe. Sucks.

Bumped into Amansbra at the station this morning. Why did I bring this blasted testbook? It's making me walk crooked. So hungry and the Vietnamese food is all the way on the other side of the campus.

The lights are out in the computer labs and I swear, it just got a whole lot darker.

I did my first Calculus tute preparation test. I got 3/3. Yaaay! It took me two hours when it should've taken me two minutes. Should've. I'm not clever like that. Maybe one day. Dream big. Dream big.

My lucky pacer

Productively using what little time I have left to study for a stupid math computing test, which will probably be worth <0.1% of the final grade. So while I was at home pounding my brain in, my parents were out shopping and having fun. I feel like ice cream. The weather has been sorta nice. It's sunny and windy. It's days like these when you don't know what to wear and would rather just stay home and admire it from the inside. Work finished at 12.30 yesterday and I should've checked out the markets or something. It was stupid not to, but whatever. I was barely thinking yesterday.

I bumped into a lot of high school people at my new uni. It was pretty cool, in that I know more people who go there. Last night I had a dream that I was doing I.T at UTS. That would've been really funny had it happened in reality. I really don't want to push it, but since I'm in no particular hurry, I can't help but wonder..

My desk is full of rubber shavings. So much erring. So, so much erring.

Four days into uni and I have already dogged two lectures. Whatever, Trevor. Hung out with Joey instead, met up with Diana at Market City, then went home. I bought sushi the other day at uni and the salmon still had bones in it. I was not impressed. However, I was extremely impressed when I stumbled upon The Pavillion and saw that they had Vietnamese food there. Very fucking happy, indeed.

I am so feeling so worn out. I went from 11 hours to 21.

I have made a pact with myself to at least try this semester. So it is just a little worrying when I find myself stressing three days into uni. I've just had my first taste of the Bio lab yesterday and it was hectic, and as descriptive as that word is, that's all I imply for the time being. The lab instructor was aware a few of us had not done any Biology before, but she didn't consider the even fewer of us who had just not done any science in tertiary. She made us put on our labcoats and got to work on the prac exercises for the next three hours. I spent the first hour getting a hold of myself and loitered around the room with my folder and pen trying to look interested. I mean, I was, but I had NO clue to what I was doing. I had just bought my textbook and course manual yesterday anyway, so I didn't have any time to run through the appropriate reading. Maths is freaking me out a little because I have no idea how to use the Maple program, but I did tutor myself a bit while in the mathlab today, but yes. I have two tests on next week already. Isthisgoingjustabittoofastformyliking?IsayfuckingYESITIS!!!

First day of uni and I loved every minute of it, including the rain. I attended three out of my four lectures, because Physics and Psych clashed, so I had to miss out on the latter. It was so good! I especially enjoyed the Evolutionary Bio lecture, which I didn't want to leave, but I sadly had to because it was followed by another lecture. I bought the Physics and Psych textbooks and the guy had somehow managed to miss scanning my Physics textbook. I stupidly presented my Co-Op card (Nails' actually), and was told that they didn't accept it and that the books had already been discounted for students. So yes, I thought they meant 50% off. Yes... a mistake it was. By them. Also bumped into Nails and Nhu in the law faculty, and Winnie while I was waiting for the maths lecture.

And double yay- the calculus online tutorial tests don't start til next week. Woooheee! Study time it is. I am considering taking Fridays off and just working Saturdays and Sundays. Would be a lot easier and I wouldn't have to rush so much after uni.

Anyway, I heart my new uni. I'm gonna graduate from here and I seriously mean it this time.

All my lecturers are kick arse. I love science sooooooo much!!

Uni starts tomorrow and I am nervous as hell. I woke up at 12 something, drove to Joey's (budding engineererer) to go over some maths, realised I had forgotten the booklets at home, ended up driving the both of us back to my place, then did the revising there. It was a very productive five hours. Everything just came flooding back, the things I've learnt and forgotten. I have the attention span of a six year old.

Had to sadly cancel my dentist appointment as I am heading off to uni extra early to find my classes, purchase texts, activate student card in library and print off a load of shit. Yay!

I have a box of double choc cookies. Yum.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENNO!!

I also just had my aunt's birthday at the Bar Luck restaurant, where we shared the reception room with a wedding. The bride turned out to be Nicki from high school, but she didn't recognise me, and we were also sitting on the other side of the room. At the same time, a funeral is being held for Duc. I remember him being in my English class briefly in year 11, and I don't know him very well, but R.I.P.

A birthday, wedding and a funeral all in the same night. Holy shit.